A Glass Wall Went Up.

On Monday I got to Reason, having not seen him over the weekend and he was a different horse.  I’ve been having such a great time with him, not just bareback riding but all around.  He’s been happy and comfortable.  In little (and big) ways we were making such great strides.  He was not holding tension, apprehension or anticipation towards anything.  He was happy!  I know my horse, I know the horse he really is and I know the horse I was experiencing on Monday was not my horse, for whatever reason, I don’t know.
When I went in to get Reason, he was immediately wanting to get away from me.  Consistently he’s been actually wanting me to get him, coming to me and following me.  It used to be that he’d stop and not move, that was his biggest problem when I’d go to catch him.  So it came across weird that he was like trying to get away.  I approached him and got a sour look.  Between his ears and his eyes, he was sending a clear message.  But he allowed me to halter him once I talked to him and slowly put the halter over his head.  He wouldn’t move.  I went to go get my crop that I usually just have to carry and he’ll move.  I’m well aware that the clear message was there with Reason, that he didn’t want to come out, but I needed to explore it further to know why.  Reason began to follow me but with resistance and once in the stall, wanted to dart back out and get away.  Again, it sounds like he just didn’t want to come out, but it wasn’t that simple.  I tried to approach him to just get him calm and he threw his head up and wouldn’t let me touch him, kept trying to get away and even began to threaten to rear when he couldn’t get away.  I couldn’t even get near his face or body without him getting freaky\and trying to nip.  At the same time he was acting afraid of me.  I wasn’t in fear of my safety, I was more worried why this was happening. 

I ended up unclipping the lead and letting him go about his business after a suggestion from a friend. 

Yesterday, I knew we needed to re-establish our relationship and trust.  Why though?  I felt like trust was lost, somewhere.  I don’t know why.  I don’t know what happened for him to act that way.  Maybe because I wasn’t there over the weekend and he got out of routine???  I don’t know.  It’s weird.

In the round pen yesterday, Reason was more sensitive then ever.  As much as sensitive is good, it’s only good when it comes from an equally good place of willingness, not fear.  There was fear lingering in the air and confusion.  I felt like Reason wasn’t sure what was going to happen.  We were just getting places in our relationship too.  Sigh…  I know by the end of the week, things will be better.  But, things were rolling along consistently well.  This has nothing to do with “two steps forward, one step back.”  One step back lately would had been a day were Reason’s mind was wandering, he was fresh and we had to work him through it or something of that nature, not suddenly my horse flipping a lid for no explainable reason.  He’s not that type of horse that would flip without a reason.  This I know.  I trust him.  I know him.  He’s sensible.  Although he is sensitive and picky at times, he is also very sensible and easy-going if he is allowed to be. 

Yesterday in the round pen proved the above point.  I still saw the same horse that was doing well last week and the week before, but hindered.  It was like he was lost somewhere but still present.  He wasn’t sure where to be because he was worried and confused for whatever reason. 

Maybe I just worry and care too much about my horse?  Well that is true, but it doesn’t mean that overrides my ability to appropriately view him or me and therefore truly evaluate the situation for what it is.  I have the ability to see the situation without altering my perception just to satisfy myself. 

Today will be better.  I got places yesterday and today we’ll go back to our regular routine most likely.  If not, we’ll keep working to rebuild whatever was lost. 

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