I miss riding so much, ok there, I said it. I’m not looking for pitty, I’m just saying.
Riding was so good for me mentally and physically. I’m trying to keep myself occupied without the riding factor, but man, going to the barn everyday really is straight to the heart. That’s the worst place to be when what you want to do is ride..
I’m constantly remembering some awesome rides Ink and I had. It is pretty much everyday when I see something that reminds me of him and I think back and all I can do is miss him and our rides. Everything was clear to me when Ink passed, but my emotions are still messed up. It’s almost like he’s not gone. I can’t even say if I truly even understand what I’m feeling. It’s so weird.
Reason is my future and I have to stay focused on that, or else I won’t move forward. I don’t know if it’s me or what, but I feel as though I’m not letting myself get close to him. I’m not sure if those are the right words or not, but I just feel this block up and I’m not sure what it is or why it’s there. In the present, I’m very much feeling bland and disconnected, even though I’m staying positive for the future.